Weblog - English - Reflexive Pronoun

Myself and my column are waiting to serve you

“Consider avoiding the reflexive pronoun altogether,
as in “Now I lay me down to sleep.”

29 Nov 2002

“I” and “me” are useful English words. It is quite correct to say “Mary and I went...” or “It seems to me...”
There is no good reason to substitute “myself” for these, as in “Mary and myself went...” or “It seems to myself...”

The Reflexive Pronoun (e.g., “myself”, “yourself”, “themselves”) is used in the objective case to emphasize identity with the subject of a sentence.
Examples:

“I hurt myself.”
“I gave myself a present.”

In both of the above examples, “I” and “myself” refer to the same thing or being; in these cases, to the author of this column. “I hurt me” is also correct, but “myself” is useful for clarity.

Rule1: The reflexive pronoun is never a subject of a sentence - it is always an object.
Rule 2: The reflexive pronoun object “reflects” the subject, i.e., the object is the same entity as the subject.

More examples:
Wrong:

“Please meet with Susan and myself.”
“Susan and myself will meet with you.” or “Susan and I will meet with yourself.”
“How’s yourself?”

Right:

“Please meet with Susan and me.”
“Susan and I will meet with you.”
“How are you?”

Misuse of the reflexive pronoun in polite speech is widespread, as if using “myself” instead of “I” or “me” is somehow more refined. When in doubt, consider avoiding the reflexive pronoun altogether, as in “Now I lay me down to sleep”.

- Andrew Hadley

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